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Cheeze Wiz.

The Vineyard

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

Updated Stories. The Wicked Witch Of The West Tries A New Tactic To Get The Ruby Slippers. Security Checkpoint. Remove your shoes, please.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Portfolio, 2011

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

Emma Watson

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"