Witty Wordplay Appreciator Pillows

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

Super Heroes.

'In spite of what we heard, lumberjacking isn't as easy as 'falling off a log'.'

"Do you think I get a hole if he crawls into it?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Staff support"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Backfire

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Punt Cake

Please Drove Carefully.

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

The americanisation of vulture.

"Privates Beach"

"Nuts to you, too."

AA Meeting Here Today