Witty Walkers Pillows

"It's nice to know I've still got it."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

Tiptoe through the tulips with me!

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Circus Stilt-Walker with Girlfriend.

You're Out Of Order

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

Knights of the iPhone

Death Watch

Soho walking society

Wise Cracker

Woman walking a pelvis on a lead.

Smart people learn from experience - other peoples'.

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

"You think you have it bad? I look like this and I don't know anything about technology."

"I thought you meant a football pool."

Pearls Before Swine is not a terribly savvy name

"Master, I'm looking for enlightenment!"

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

One Way/Two Ways.

"His schlock has gravitas."

Mechanics price list.

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

"He got this new circle and now he says he's part of some protection racket."