Witty Retorts Appreciator T-Shirts

"The entire time you were talking to Marissa you had a piece of spinach between your teeth."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Cat Burglar

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"Touché"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Voltaire

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

Mom's Mortuary

Pick your own fruit or worms.

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

Plug: ' OHHH, Baby Baby.'

Tom Bowler

Figure of Eight

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Wow! This style of writing went out back in the seventies!'

"You've put on weight."

Black Death

Bit on the Side

Inn and Outt.

'How's my appeal going?', 'How's your tunnel going?'