Wealthy Wit Appreciator T-Shirts

"They said give till it hurts. It started hurting right away."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Cat Burglar

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"Touché"

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

Voltaire

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

Pick your own fruit or worms.

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

I was thinking about something more like a slogan.

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

Figure of Eight

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

Circus. I'm giving up the seltzer bottle as a comedy prop and will do a more sophisticated act. Ah, dry humor.

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Wow! This style of writing went out back in the seventies!'

'How's my appeal going?', 'How's your tunnel going?'

'I'm a little worried about the dedication to His Satanic Majesty, Bishop.'

Inn and Outt.

"I really try to put myself in other people's shoes, but it's not my fault if almost everyone has smaller feet than me."