Witty Pet Psychiatrist Gifts

'. . . And how long have you been a nervous little dog?'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Yes, one is a dog."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Cat Reunion

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"Have you tried biting him?"

Dogs life

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

Cats at private view

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

Clown walks balloon dog

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Dogs are men."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'