Witty Misleaders Mugs

Man Diverts the Hunt...and hides the fox!

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"Who's your daddy corporation?"

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

You're Out Of Order

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

Knights of the iPhone

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

Smart people learn from experience - other peoples'.

"You think you have it bad? I look like this and I don't know anything about technology."

'You say you saw my client do it. OK, but what if the jury doesn't believe you? Try to think outside the witness box.'

"My husband would get out and change the tire, but he has a lug nut allergy."

Pearls Before Swine is not a terribly savvy name

"It's nice to know I've still got it."

"His schlock has gravitas."

'...Or, in layman's terms, Ay caramba!'

"I just stood up and nothing hurt... Am I dead?"

"Back when we were in college, and occasionally sleeping together, I never thought I'd be here, toasting you at your wedding to a woman."

"I'm sorry, but you're not the patient your father was."

Mastering political faces.

"He got this new circle and now he says he's part of some protection racket."

Spring a Leek

"If we pool our stuff, we can open a chain of toy stores."

"My advice, don't marry for money. You can borrow it for 3.5%."