Witty Speaker Mugs

"Back when we were in college, and occasionally sleeping together, I never thought I'd be here, toasting you at your wedding to a woman."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"Bed Spread"

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Crow and fox

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

Jokes machine.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'Oh, and one more thing

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

The Algonquin Round Table

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

Bat out of Hell

"So, what is your star sign?"

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

Mom's Mortuary

Do you believe in money at first sight?

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

"You have a lot of unresolved anger and it's settled in your hat."