Witty Quipsters Mugs

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'Is the water cold?'

Leaving cards.

Official Seal

Heart To Heart

'What I meant by 'quark' in 'Finnegans Wake' was a hypothetical particle with a fractional electric charge.

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"You have a lot of unresolved anger and it's settled in your hat."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

Death Watch

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

'I preferred it before you started taking Prozac.'

Home Business - Wife.

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

"I used to have a good head for business. Then I went and got married."

Inside the Large Hadron Collider

"I don't care if all your friends like that. You go back and put on some more insulation, young lady!"

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

'Did someone forget to circle before dinner.'

Heisenberg Witness Protection Program

"No offense..."

"I've got what it takes to take what you've got."

"I felt the Earth Move!"