Witty Mathematician T-Shirts

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

Sophocles Playwriting School. Euclid and Aphrodite are writing their play together. It must be a love triangle.

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

The geometry of everyday life

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

Mobius Comic Strip.

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."

Math/After Math

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

"Is x the wrong angle?"

Hexagon.

Hillary's New Math