Witty Mathematician T-Shirts

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

Mobius Comic Strip.

The geometry of everyday life

Math/After Math

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

Hexagon.

Alternative Accountants

"Is x the wrong angle?"

Can we see our way clear to doing something about air pollution?