Witty Commenter T-Shirts

"Thank you for the drink, but, no, you may not have my 'e mail' address."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Trump leaving

The Snarky District

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

Paper Boy

"Inactivists"

'This is a no rise office.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

Heart To Heart

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Do you believe in money at first sight?

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

Beware of the Blog.

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

People want as much government as they deserve.

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

"Once you get past the divine right of kings, I'm not much into theology."

"Is it a witty and insightful exploration of the zeitgeist of 'boundaries' or is it in fact, the way out?"

'Never mind dear, at least you cut him with your razor sharp wit.'

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."