Witchy Humor Fans Pillows

'Needs more kale.'

"Here we are."

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Theatre Masks and Butts

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"It's probably just seasonal."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"What do you mean Halloween ISN'T a paid holiday off?!"

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

"Don't forget to call it a 'procedure'—it makes it less scary."

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

"Then I told him, 'Unions are powerless in this country... What can you do to me?'"

"My new day job is killing me."

Bank Robbery Statistics

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

To tell you the truth, I find it hard to be sympathetic for the plight of the beer vampire.

"Mr Bush? I have a little job for you in North Korea..."

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

Zombie Pulse Eating Vegans.

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

Death Takes A Time-Share

'Now let's explore your dark side.'

Pass the SPF 20,000

"I guess we'd be considered a family. We're living together, we love each other, and we haven't eaten the children yet."