Humor-loving Witches Pillows

'I use my microwave - faster, easier and no carbon.'

Late BroomStick

Newt sale

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'Needs more kale.'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

To tell you the truth, I find it hard to be sympathetic for the plight of the beer vampire.

"I can't use this. It's past its spell by date."

Candle Size

Trick or treat surprise.

'Why don't you stop moaning, and be grateful that mother was kind enough to invite us around for a special halloween supper!'

Probably should have cleared my bookshelf before the zoom call...

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

"You're leaving?" "Yeah, today's kids are so demanding so I've decided to move to a gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free, sugar-free neighborhood."

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

"No! That's no right! Remember to always use spell check."

"I can't right now. I have to pick the kids up then eat them."

Witch uses remote key to find broom.

"Wait a second- is that organic?"

Witch with sat nav

'Say 'when' or just think it really hard... I'm also kind of a psychic.'

Hexting

Patrolman writes ticket for witch's broom parked illegally.

"Mom, brooms are so nineties! Nowadays you have a robot vacuum cleaner!"

I mainly focus on the grassier side of spell casting really.

'I'm warning you! I've got a water ballon here and I know how to use it!'

'One of those KID meals, please.'

"Don't take that tone of thought with me."

'I asked the Grendal family to show me a dish served with white wine. . .'

"What say this week you be the cat and I'll be the dog?"