Witchy Green Fingers T-Shirts

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

You will always find a spot to garden

"And that's when they left for vacation!"

"I've just got this thing about hanging baskets"

A dead plant in the environment section.

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

Florist - Dead Plants 1/2 Price!

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

Clown watering his flowers.

Probably should have cleared my bookshelf before the zoom call...

"We view it as a rather remarkable feat of genetic engineering."

It's not Global Warming silly: I bought a plastic plant...

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

Irregular Fruits and Veggies: "It's our inner beauty that counts..."

Break up the hard soil around plants...and do everything possible to provide moisture...

'Fred insists on giving something up for Lent!'

'Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables.'

'That plant food really works!'

"It started as a little harmless tree-hugging and sort of grew from there."

Zombie Housekeeping

Monster Plant.

'I use my microwave - faster, easier and no carbon.'

'You wouldn't believe how much broom insurance is if you've had three measly accidents.'

"You could at least look at me when I'm talking to you"

Watering a plant with tears

'My plants are dead Have you been listening to Rush Limbaugh while I was shopping'

"Disgusting-all they grow in their garden is HAIR!"

Florists - Say it with bio-fuel crops.

Production of food

None of my plants do well...but I forgot I had an onion in my refrigerator, and it's sprouting leaves and growing well.