Witchy Green Fingers T-Shirts

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

You will always find a spot to garden

"And that's when they left for vacation!"

"I've just got this thing about hanging baskets"

A dead plant in the environment section.

When Cows Discovered Mowers

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

"You make me feel 'hole'."

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

Clown watering his flowers.

Probably should have cleared my bookshelf before the zoom call...

Florist - Dead Plants 1/2 Price!

"We view it as a rather remarkable feat of genetic engineering."

It's not Global Warming silly: I bought a plastic plant...

'Fred insists on giving something up for Lent!'

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

Break up the hard soil around plants...and do everything possible to provide moisture...

Irregular Fruits and Veggies: "It's our inner beauty that counts..."

'Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables.'

'That plant food really works!'

Zombie Housekeeping

"It started as a little harmless tree-hugging and sort of grew from there."

Monster Plant.

'I use my microwave - faster, easier and no carbon.'

Well, Barbara, you can teach me the difference between a weed and a flower all day long, but I can't guarantee my aim is all that accurate anyway.

'You wouldn't believe how much broom insurance is if you've had three measly accidents.'

"You could at least look at me when I'm talking to you"

Watering a plant with tears

"Disgusting-all they grow in their garden is HAIR!"

'My plants are dead Have you been listening to Rush Limbaugh while I was shopping'

Florists - Say it with bio-fuel crops.

Production of food