Wit-loving Woofer Fan Gifts

'It doesn't look good. I'm a guard dog. They caught me off guard.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Dog lover

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

A Dog's Food Pyramid.

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

Loopholes

"The subwoofers really help."

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

'No, and I mean it! We just went for a walk an hour ago.'

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

Counsel's Opinion.

"I see a couch."

'To woof or not to woof...'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

'I think he remembers you, Doctor.'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Collective unconscious.

"He's sending an instant message."

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"We should probably stop calling each other 'Fluffy's person' and 'Fifi's person' and learn each other's real names - now that we're married I mean."

Dog Dictionary: ARF bow-wow woof.

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"