Wise Crack Aficionado T-Shirts

'If you were your dog, would you pick you for a best friend?'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

Czarcasm

'Man, times have changed.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

R.I.P. ZZ Top - Dusty Hill 1949-2021

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Loopholes

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

Abacus.

'You reek of crackers.'

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

Not-so-easy listening...

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

"What am I, chopped liver?"

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

Easy & Hard Listening Rock Radio.

Counsel's Opinion.

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'