Wireless Communication Gifts

Voice-activated high-speed wireless communications.

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Lynching on social media

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Campaign for Plain English

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Right click for yes...

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."