Winter Humor Aficionado Gifts

"Dude! Someone gave you snow moobs!"

"I... hate... this... place."

I have some really bad news for you. (Published previously on March 3, 2010).

"Suncreen's for the birds right, Oscar?!"

Your name written in the snow $1

"Careful. This guys packin' heat..."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

"I noticed a few browns."

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

"Frosty the Repairman"

Snowman Driver

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

Well, technically, no, you don't have seasonal affective disorder.

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"You have ice water in your veins."

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

"Oooo. That's cold."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'