Winter Festivity Pillows

"I expect you're wondering why I'm not wearing any trousers."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Christmas Tree

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Elfie Stick

"Home depot."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Dancing in pyjamas

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

Statue turns into conductor when it snows.

Santa does a keg stand.

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

Christmas Pets

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Christmas Presents.