Winter Festivity T-Shirts

"I expect you're wondering why I'm not wearing any trousers."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Christmas Tree

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Home depot."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Elfie Stick

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Dancing in pyjamas

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Statue turns into conductor when it snows.

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Christmas Pets

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

Santa does a keg stand.

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'