Wine Testing T-Shirts

'It's a cheeky little wine!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

Yoga for Alcoholics

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Bacchus.

Sauvignon Bonk

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Bubbly

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'