Wine Tasting Novice Gifts

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

Yoga for Alcoholics

Sauvignon Bonk

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Bubbly

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.