Wine Tasting Novice Gifts

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Wine Lady

Yoga for Alcoholics

Bacchus.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Bubbly

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."