Wine Snob Satire Lover T-Shirts

'Dagnabit, stranger! Is you sayin' I don't know the difference between a cabernet sauvignon, and a merlot?!!'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I make it myself!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

Wine tasting

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

Wine: New & Old!!!

"House red, sir?"

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

Prosecco Drinker

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"It's an unpretentious little wine!"

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

"How much do you spend on a decent bottle of wine?"

"Yeah, he changed water into wine but it was nothing you'd want to lay down."

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"I'm getting gnats, I'm getting cats, I'm getting dogs..."

"Waiter, this wine is corked!"

'The house wine sir.'