Wine Snobbery Aficionado T-Shirts

"Remarkably Undrinkable."

"We wondered if you'd be kind enough to take a videoclip of us drinking the Chateau d'Yquem?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Sauvignon Bonk

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Now I really hate poetry."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"I make it myself!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"So the wife says to me, you need to take the dog out..." "Wine list, please."

Wordplay: Export.

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

The wine-shop

'S'more wine?'

Catch and release dating.

"What are they saying this week? Are coffee, chocolate, and wine good or bad for us?"

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

Cheers

Join me in a glass of champagne?