Wine Party T-Shirts

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"I always gulp my wine - it evaporates, you know."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

Wine taster with mineral water

Red Wine

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'True, true, true, but I'll just stick to buying wines rated 90 points, or higher.'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Wine: New & Old!!!

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

"Apparently, there is a difference between red wine and red wine vinegar."

"Regular angst isn't a problem. It's the post-modern existential angst that gets to me."

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"Okay, let's see ... vintage ... vintage ... "

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

"The host? He'll be the guy standing here, alone, when the wine's gone."

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

Welcome to my cellar!

"That? Oh, uh yah...that was Stuart."