Wine Novelty Collector T-Shirts

Unfortunately, Michael's 'wine straw' invention never really caught on.

Clown on bike.

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Hay Rides $10

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Recalculating route..."

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

true love.

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

A crab with a utility knife claw

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

"Quick swig first?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Portfolio, 2011

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'