Wine Fair T-Shirts

'The merlot is 100 merlot; the pinot noir is 100 pinot noir, and the chardonnay is 100 Swiss chard.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Face painting.

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Southwark Fair.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Tension filled the tent.

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Face painting by numbers.

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'