Wine And Dine Diva T-Shirts

"Red with meant, white with fish. . . but it all goes great with chocolate!"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"I come here for the pepper."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'I'd steer clear of the rum punch.'

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

Wine and Cheese

"More croutons, sir?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'