Wine Aficionado With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

'I noticed your wine list only has reds and whites. Don't you have any yellow wines?'

"Would sir like to try the wine. . . ?"

'How come your oldest vintage is on the top shelf?' 'I can't reach up there!'

"A whino!"

'At home, he's my husband, here; he's my dump bucket.'

'For future reference, just the bottle goes in the chiller.'

Waiter watering down wine

"Would you like an ice bucket with your Champagne?"

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

'You opened it five hours ago. If it breathes any more, it's going to hyperventilate.'

'How wonderful, I've always wanted to meet a connoisseur of wines costing under £4.99 a bottle.'

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

"This bottle is defective - it stopped pouring!"

"He's a wino-saur."

'Dagnabit, stranger! Is you sayin' I don't know the difference between a cabernet sauvignon, and a merlot?!!'

'You know, our collection of bottle bags is worth more than our collection of wines.'

'How did I fill all this in for only $75.00? Easy, I only collect corked wines.'