William Tell Fan T-Shirts

"Now I wish I hadn't gotten him that bow and arrows for Father's Day."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A cheeky red?'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

The Alpha Seltzer

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Cat Burglar

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Wiener Dog . . . Dog Wiener

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'There is a drug for Hypochondria... but the side-effects may actually make you sick!'

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

Surgeon walks through hospital where sign says, 'No Stresspassing'.

"Oh, I'm fine. I just had to take a personal day to recharge my batteries."

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

Praying mantis.

Loopholes

"Streaming"

Business Promotion.

'You have a fauxbia.'

S**t Threw a Goose

"I'm terrible taking tests, too. I always freeze."

Produce Market. Lots of things are going on with the produce. The tomatoes, as usual, are having a fruit or veggie identity crisis. Though it makes no sense, the apples and oranges are constantly comparing themselves to one another. The plums are happy. Any assignment or position that comes their way is always the best. That potatoes want couches, of course. And the bananas think they should run the market government. Sure, a banana republic!

"The etchings are in the library."