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"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

'Today is. . . Tuesday! We are going. . . on a picnic. . . I am. . . an idiot.'

'-are your ears burning too?'

'A cheeky red?'

Carrie used sunscreen but it didn't completely block all the Rays. 'Hey, baby...Name's Raymond.What's yours?'

"I'm interested in the debt consolidation package your bank has been advertising...."

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"That is not what I call casual sex, Jennifer...I'm exhausted."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Heart To Heart

The Gilmore Girls

Cold caller.

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

A lesson in wit

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

Know-it-alls

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .