Wildlife Whisperers Pillows

"Don't say anything, but these aren't really artisanal bread crumbs."

Wife woken by husband shooting rabbits from the bedroom window

'Why did Tarzan name his chimp cheetah?'

'Isn't this a lot more fun than spending your time out hunting?' (Bear playing poker with hunters).

Carniverous frog

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Polly txt speak

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

Children's Parties

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Quick, start the car!"

Dog Dreams

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'You know too much!'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"That is an outrageous slur."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'