Wildlife Officer T-Shirts

Do not feed the bears/Do not pay the rangers.

'That's right - a restraining order. You should know mother bears are very protective of their young.'

'That's right, buster, I'm not really Rex, your faithful hunting dog, I'm Agent Baxter of the Fish and Wildlife Service, and you're under arrest for poaching'

Although they were a protected species, they were still hunted by poachers for their ivory.

Fight against theft of endangered species

Hunting Licenses Here

Meanwhile at the Fish and Game Department

'The local deer population takes illegal hunting into their own hands...'

'Yes, Sir. I know they usually break in to look for food...'

'Deer is not in season, mister!'

'Buford, you're a disgrace to the National Park Service. You've supposed to arrest poachers, not eat them!'

When a Ranger calls,

'I don't care who you are_ that's an endangered species!'

Good duck, bad duck.

'Get ready, Ralph, I think we're going to see some action.'

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

'Honest, officer -- I thought they were hippies!'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

Fly Fishing

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

Bears catching fish

'I admire your floatibility.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

Birds sitting on satellite dish.

"You've changed."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...