Wildlife Ironist Pillows

'How would you like to be a big star in the circus?'

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'No doubt about it we're really lost!...Even GPS says it can't help!'

Artist Misses the Point

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

"I think it stands for, 'Please Eat the Activist,' which is exactly what I did!"

"Are you getting a signal up there?"

Income Tax Return

Leave Only Footprints, Take Only Photos.

'This should give the sociobiologists somethings to think about.'

"When I was young I needed drugs to feel weird. Now, I need drugs to feel normal."

"I'm selling all my old passwords that were stolen."

"Hey Vincent, I got a certified letter today. Apparently the birds have reported us stalking them and have taken out a restraining order against us."

"Yes, I was downsized out of here last month. That's who this collection is for!"

'you've been circling three days, and your prey won't die - what's your position, ethically speaking?'

Mistletoe Farm

"I no longer think, therefore I no longer am."

A mortgage and a shitty job-experience centre.

Capitalist tree hugger

The Misleading Wine Fridge

Angel looking down to other angel: 'Oh, those poor meek guys - they inherited the Earth.'

Big fish can't eat the little ones.

'It's the only way they can control his testosterone!'

'It's too bad about them banning DDT. I was just getting to like it.'

Environmentally friendly woman putting slug killer down

'My office!!'

"Oh, I'll get away with it - they'll blame it on a deer hunter!"