Eco Ironist Pillows

'It's too bad about them banning DDT. I was just getting to like it.'

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

'Johnson gave it to Wilson to give to Adams to give to O'Connor to give to Anderson to give to me to give to you to get it done right away.'

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

Artist Misses the Point

Sartre's E-Mail

'No doubt about it we're really lost!...Even GPS says it can't help!'

How many trees were cut down to get the paper necessary to print your book?

Income Tax Return

'How would you like to be a big star in the circus?'

'This is the first hydrochloric factory to run on wind power'

"Now that my new bikini arrived, I am ready for global warming."

Leave Only Footprints, Take Only Photos.

"Well of course this is a hostile workplace environment. You do realize what it is you do for a living, don't you?"

"Take heart, Mike! In my experience, the quiet desperation of ordinary men, when properly managed, can move mountains in the workplace!"

"I'm selling all my old passwords that were stolen."

'Clear communications are essential to a positive work environment, so let's be 'clear' that we will be expecting you to cover the cuts by working twice as hard for less return in worse conditions!'

Mistletoe Farm

Angel looking down to other angel: 'Oh, those poor meek guys - they inherited the Earth.'

"You'll like global warming because the seas will rise and this beach will be under water."

"I have an app that gives me points for looking up from my phone."

Nature and Man

This was not in my job description.

Environmentally friendly woman putting slug killer down

"Heat expands things and I'm fat, the real culprit is obvious...I'm a victim of global warming!"

'I was looking at a global warming website, and the computer froze.'

'Is plastic okay? -- Even though it comes from oil?'

"We've come a long way since the me-and-now society."

Al Gore - Go Greener (sell out current TV to oil rich Al Jazeera for $100 million).

Just ran over a recycling bin!!!

'I deplore the lack of internet privacy and so do 5,000 of my Facebook friends,'

"The good news is that you get a one-month retroactive raise. The bad news is that you are fired."

'Looks like Ferguson sold a gas-guzzler!'