Wildlife Impostor T-Shirts

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Deer Season Open.

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Too much concealer?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Now I think of Mom whenever it's cold."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Pray for me.'

Biodiversity

Giraffe Portrait

'Nice jingle!'

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

Birds with Headphones

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"I'm in disguise."

David Attenborough's Morning

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

Crow and fox

Grass huggers.