Plant Imposters T-Shirts

Cull people who like plastic plants.

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'That morning, nature got to work early...'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

The Houseplant Cemetery.

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

"We were just wondering if you were edible."

Person Who Shouldn't Get Married

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

- whilst central heating is inclined to loosen their leaves."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

"I'm just planting invasive species this year. Let them kill each other."

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

"They are very realistic, you would never guess that they were rubber."

A Cactus warning His friends to put their branches up while a Human passes by.

The Fireside Jungle: But specimens should never be introduced unless you know how to look after them.

'Don't worry - it's made entirely from soya-based meat substitute.'

Bathing Flowers.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Alice became the first person in history to be beatend to death with 'vegetarian turducken'."

'How many vegetables died for your stupid salad?'

'I just can't figure it out.'

'You mean a vegan isn't the same thing as a witch?'

Come a little closer my dear feathered friend.

"Somewhere out there, there's a girl who wants to take me home and slowly kill me."

Attend to wall climbers...clear out exhausted annuals.

Small bald child tapping a boiled egg is being tapped on the head by a hatched chick