Wildlife Cohabitor Gifts

"There's one home in this area within your price range, but it has a mouse."

Cat and mouse

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'He's strictly an indoor cat.'

'But you have your own drawer - what greater display of commitment could you want?'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"That word-puzzle gloat of yours is getting old fast."

"When we agreed that you would move in, Mr. Goodrich, you didn't mention Rex."

Trouble Ahead

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

LOVENUTS: 'We had just about had it,' Paula says.

"I like this one, it looks lived in."

I think my girlfriend is moving in.

'Can I get you a drink first?'

'Oh no, it's that 'come hither and do the dishes' look.'

There had always been three in the relationship...

Bipartisan.

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

90% of annoying habits are discovered after you start living together.

'When humans say they love animals, they mean pets. They sure don't mean us!'

"Can I move in with you?"

"Come and get me, coppers!"

"Your hogging the covers again."

"It's god's little get-back.... She had special haloes made for those who never put down the toilet seat."

"I'm sick too."

'Either she goes, or I go.'

'My wife wanted a fur coat so, for her birthday, I got her a starter kit.'

Fences Make Good Neighbors.

'I'm telling you: They all wear red and run after me on horse-back ..I'll bring them your way next time..'

'Joe didn't like to hunt so he paid the animals to pose for his hunting club parties.'

'We were divorced, remarried, and divorced again. Now we're just living together.'

"As a matter of fact, yes. I do object to you moving in with my daughter... My daughter lives here!"