Wild West Wanderer T-Shirts

"How are you fixed for oats?"

'It's an import.'

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"If you kick her with the left spur, she'll give you more lumbar support."

"We had main street booked for high noon."

'Oh man, I hate parallel parking.'

"We're not having any luck finding fugitive outlaws, so we decided to search for the meaning of life instead."

'You know...that ain't a good sign.'

"This is it, Slim. I'm putting you on the next off-peak train outta here."

"Decaf. They can't be far away."

"Gus don't do much talkin'. His interpretive dance does his talkin' for him."

Next Stimulus 20 Miles

"The tumble weed probably set it off."

Tonto Casino.

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Cowboy on horse sees diretion sign for 'thataway'.

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

Cattle Rustlers - Closed for Stocktaking.

'I AM a cowboy so therefore they ARE cowboy boots, OK?'

The Lazy Triple Z Dud Ranch

'Whoooooooooooooooooooooooow! We're in Pashmina Country.'

"It's gonna be tough trying to fill your pa's boots, Jake."

General Custer as a kid.

"I'm getting a strong feeling that something unpleasant is going to happen."

"Bad news, PETA has unionized your cattle."

The mare bag.

Hee-Haul

'Next time, I go in the bar to ask directions!'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

"So...What's your excuse for being late today?"

"Dang, why can't they target practice on somebody else?!"

"Gee Hank, you've found comedy gold."

'Does my wife miss me? Last time home, five near misses before I got out through a closed window.'