Wig Whisperer Gifts

A new opera-glass for the year 1777

"Look, I just need a cool haircut."

'Well, somebody's got to fluff my wig.'

Judge getting hair done.

"C'mon, Carl... you're not fooling anybody with that rug."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Worm Charmer

Wolf Karaoke

Bassoons.

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

'I could eat you.'

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

"Wow, listen to that: "Do you have a pioneer spirit? Wolves needed for reintroduction into European National Parks"..."

'Where are you going?'

"At first I was a bit worried about the comeback of wolves in Europe. But I must admit that they had adapted well to living together with humans!"

"Yeah, birds are bad, but fishermen are the worst: they first stab you with a hook, then drown you to finish you off. . ."

The Allied Toy Company utilizes wind power as part of its green initiative.

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

"My husband is fishing. . ."

'Yeah, my dad used to howl at the Moon before, but now he struggles to stay awake past sundown...'

Wind Energy

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

'I can't believe she left everything to that stupid parakeet!'

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

Walking in the woods.

KNITEO ERGO SUM!