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'And, if the adhesive doesn't work, here's a free box of thumb tacks.'

'Perfect.'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Silly wig.

A man taking a bow

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

Lady in a pretty dress

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"I don't care what you think: it's cool, it's sexy, and I feel totally empowered."

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

'How long have you had that toupee?'

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

A Head-Dress in 1777

Tonsure Toupee

The five orders of periwigs

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

"Wig or the wisp?"

"That wig makes you look 10 years sillier!"

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

On a windy day in 1735, a new wig gives Bernoulli an idea.

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

'Yes dear, I was in a hurry to get home, why?'

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"Takes years of me..."

'If you must know, because my hairpiece blew away!'

'Well, if you must run your fingers through my hair.'

Nice toupee, Dr. Kapuchnik. But … is it honest? At least a toupee is honest about its dishonesty, Al. Compared to what? A beret.

1784: Wigs are all the rage

'Dad, can I borrow the wig tonight?'