Widower Friend Pillows

"You really miss her, don't you, Lou?"

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Heavy meals on wheels

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Remote Control Duck

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

Medication for the elderly

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"We missed Fashion Week!"

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'