Widget Wizard Pillows

Eric was beginning to regret asking his new networking contact what he did for a living. . .

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"We only got six days of funding."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Lovely dovetail."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

Waiting for retirement.

Targets.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

Gerald Ratner's return

The Move.

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

The imagery attacks the compalcency of the casual web surfer and uses a visual cacophony of discordant images to excite and enthusethe casual visitor...

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

'We've always needed an accounting magician.'

I got the raise