Whopper Whisperer Pillows

"The only time a fisherman tells the truth is when he calls another fisherman a liar!"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Dog lover

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

'Superstock'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

"I think I blew the promotion when I started doing some personal hygiene grooming during the interview."

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

"Sure, it's been a tough quarter, but somehow we always land on our feet."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"

"No, that was my twin brother. I was too chicken to cross the road."