Wholesale Wonderer Pillows

"What's 'Costco'?"

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Macbeth: Take Two

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

Traffic Cone Monsters

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"It's a witch, all right. So do we burn, bake or poach it?"

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'It's good that you're taking vitamins... but you need to stop BUTTERING them.'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"Do you or do you not have any wool, and if so, how many bags full?"

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Oh, it's only you."

Word Of God

Miss Jones, get me another eyebrow.

Collision

'Untitled #82? You mean there are 81 more like this. Was he trying to get it just right?'

"What's the wi-fi like?"

Sir Rupert Murgatroyd

Poet and Peasant

'The entire team is lethargic. Tell the athletic trainer to whip up a cure.'

"No thanks. Do you know how much sugar is in those things?"

Cat DNA is decoded.

Soup of the Day: Eye of Newt.

'We'll be right back after these important messages.'

"Because when it actually works they just call it medicine."

"I said, with these new tax breaks, we'll be able to buy more leaves for the table."

'Well, Watson, it appears as if my hunch was correct...'

"Now there are many farm raised ones, but I prefer my eye-of-newt locally sourced."

"Hey, we're working our asses off here!"