White House Staff Pillows

"Reasons for being fired by Trump from the White House staff: 1. Owned a cat. 2. Had a democrat grandmother. 3. Crossed his legs during a meeting. 4. Speaks Spanish."

White House Staff

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Kitchen Kapers

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

Busy office.

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Ghostbasters 3

Chef copy robot

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

Sales.

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."