White Coat Wonder Mugs

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

Claus 2.0

Cat Reunion

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'Look man, no wings!'

'The grudge match.'

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

"I hate it..."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Will Self deprecation

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

Sportknitting

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

'Leonardo's Lament' - 'I have nothing to do.'

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

'No! Not the second pair of gloves...'

'He got a splinter from his scratching post.'

'Workshop must-haves: a rubber drill.'

They say I get 152 channels.

"Shaving off your three whiskers doesn't make you older!"

Word Of God

"So what really motivates your colleagues?"