Whispering Wizard Pillows

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Home depot."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Newt sale

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

The Art of Bantering!

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

'This morning a rumor that we would buy the Arpex Corp drove our stock up $3. Around noon a rumor that Arpex would buy us drove it up another $3. And in the afternoon a rumor that wo have nothing to do with Arpex drove it up $3 more.'

"I'd just as soon it wasn't cut into those funny little pieces, if you don't mind."

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

'You know, on second thought, we just might have an opening.'

"The madness started with the cow and spread to the others."

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

"And she's an interesting conversationalist, too."

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

Woman riding a sleigh pulled by a black cat

Ever since I was a calf, I've always wanted my own henchman!

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

EXPELLI-ANUS!

'I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone with this many years of experience.'

Magic Mushrooms

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Does a bear poop in the Christmas tree lot?