Whisky Wonder Pillows

Deep dish bourbon

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Cat Reunion

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"I hate it..."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

"Is that neat whisky?"

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

You can kiss me later

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

'It's a taste I think I can say I've acquired.'

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

Monarch of the Glenmorangie

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'You've had enough.'

"Forget the Gin Sling, I'll have a whisky and soda."

'He got a splinter from his scratching post.'

They say I get 152 channels.

"Holy cow! This is bourbon!" "My husband is from Kentucky."