Whiskey Fan T-Shirts

'The bar's famous for its high spirits.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Trump Poutine

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'The King of what?'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Rabbit Punch

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Which Hogwarts house are you?